In the past week, I’ve had the privilege of sneaking in a bunch of dates with friends from all walks of life and even the chance to make a new friend! Not all my weeks look like this, but I am on such a high after all of these encounters with old and new friends—reflections of who I was, am, and hope to become.
I had a long lunch on Friday with an old coworker who has known me since I was a college intern, worked with me post-grad on a million different things, and now has become a mentor of mine. It was refreshing to sit and talk it all out (mostly work things) because he’s known me through such transitional years and watched the path I took to get where I am today. What a gift that friendship is!
Last night I grabbed drinks and dinner with a college (and now grown-up) friend! He moved away pretty quickly after college and I haven’t gotten a chance to be with him one-on-one in far too long. I was sharing my heart with him and he continuously reminded me that it’s all a journey, but no two journeys look the same. The point, he stressed, is to be h a p p y in the meantime. All of the other aspects like purpose, professional goals and aspirations, relationships, etc., will eventually fall into place, but if you’re not happy in the journey to those things…what’s the point?
Today’s coffee date was unplanned and amazing. I went to a coffee shop to work and an old high school friend and teammate was working there as the manager. I had an inkling I’d run into her, but never did I expect an hour and a half of catching up. We covered it all and found so many similarities between our stories since the days that we spent 3+ hours a night together 5 days a week. We both found comfort in our own fears of the unknown, our untraditional professional paths, and literally almost everything else. The high school version of me was so different from this one and it was so amazing to talk with her and watch the parts of my past self that I loved come back out. I can’t wait to work more regularly there for more impromptu and heartfelt dates. ❤️
Part of my personal struggle right now (and many others’ struggles) is feeling like past versions of myself are gone or have to die now. That’s not a real thing. Aspects of my life are gone, yes, but the parts that I want to hold on to are the best parts of me during those different life stages. Those are all still there and it’s nice to see them coming out as I spend time with friends from different eras of myself. Human connection can’t be matched—especially during transitional times of life like the one I’m plowing through. People who you’ve let in, at any point in life, are such beautiful reminders of the person you are.
Collecting friends is such an amazing part of life and a choice we all get to make. Are there people in your life that leave you feeling like you’ve had the spirit in you sucked right out? Or that only care to talk to you about other people? Those are not the friends you keep. Keep the friends that always lift you up, that know your messy parts and love you for them, and that make you think and dream bigger. Those are your people—the ones that root for you and that you want to root for. We are our best when living in community with others.
If you’ve lost touch with any of the people that have had a positive influence on who you are and where you’re going, I invite you to reach back out to them. It’s never too late and it doesn’t have to be anything dramatic—a request for a coffee date will do. ☺️
This post is part of a monthly series focused on Self Discovery and Self Care. To keep up, follow @behindourreddoor on Instagram and check out the story highlight called “self care.” #SelfCareSeptember #SelfDiscoverySeptember